Think & Reflect

Yesterday, March 8, we had our Recollection. It was my first time to experience such overwhelming moment.

Days before the said event, I promised myself not to cry. Despite the ‘you-can’t-control-your-tears’ stories during the recollection, I still promised myself. Up until yesterday, I kept on saying that I would not cry. But yes, as the saying goes, promises are meant to be broken.

The Recollection started around 8 AM. We had a reading of liturgy and some prayers. And our first recollection master, Bro. Rolan, started telling the different things we need to realize. I really can’t remember everything that he discussed, but everything involves God, family, and friends. The session was fun. It is somehow.. nakakatama. Because everything he said suits our own lives. He showed us a film of a guy (I forgot his name) who has no arms and legs — I think you guys saw him on facebook — and how he goes on in his life. The film made me teary-eyed; I realized that I have more than he has and yet I keep on complaining. I was like “how dare me?” Throughout the session, he was usually joking but at the end, everything he said is real.

Our next recollection master was Bro. Ruel. The creepiest person I’ve ever met. He’s a mind-reader, he can tell the story of your life by just looking at your eyes, he can see a glimpse of your future, and he sees.. dead people. Lol. Anyway, that’s real. It was creepy when he introduced himself. That he said that he knew some of us didn’t surrender our cellphones. And it was obvious that everyone was scared. And he said that he would call us one by one and would tell the dirtiest secrets of our lives in front of the whole batch!! And he suddenly realized that everyone needs to go to the comfort room (I think he read everyone’s mind that time), and gave us a 3-minute break. After that, he said he’d start, and called one of my batchmates, but eventually said that she’ll just lead the prayer. We’re trolled.

So we had our lunch break. After that, he showed us a film about possession. He told us that the devil keeps on hypnotizing us by doing wrong actions, because that’s the only way the devil can hurt God.

He told us the story of his life, about his bestfriends and the parents of his bestfriends. And that was when everyone’s tear started to fall.

He told us to write a letter to someone we want to say sorry to, someone we want to forgive, and to God. When I was writing my own letter, the only thing I could hear are the breaths of my batchmates (we couldn’t breath properly due to crying okay). It feels good to cry, it feels good to reflect. And it feels better when you know that you are not alone. I was with my batchmates, most of us are crying. Yes, even the boys, even the tough ones. It actually felt good seeing some of the boys cry, that though they are tough, they are jokers, they still have this soft side. I realized that MaScians are really weak when it comes to family.. and God.

After that we sang a song again. And we watched a short film again.. showing us the sacrifice of Jesus. I thought I was not going to cry again, but seeing Jesus’ pain (though it’s from a movie that I already saw), I just cried. And Bro. Rolan told us to close our eyes and bow our heads and feel the presence of the Lord. He said so many things that you could hear everyone’s hagulgol. Yes, everyone couldn’t help it but to cry because of everything Bro. said. He told us about our fathers and how we misses them so much because we’ve already grown up. He told us about our mothers and how close we were to them before. He told us about our siblings and how they happened to be our playmates before, but now we just ignore each other. He told us about God, how He is there always, how He really wants to hug us but we always run from Him. He told us to give God the chance to hug us, because this time, we won’t run anymore.

That time, I thanked Him. For everything he has done for me. For that day. For everyday. And said sorry. For all my shortcomings. For I only realized everything that late.

It feels good to cry. It feels good to reflect. It feels good to think. My last real cry was really long time ago and finally, I got the chance. My tears fell because I realized everything. Ang dami ko palang pagkukulang. And late ko nang narealize.

Before the mass, we got the chance to talk to Bro. Ruel. I told him that I am really confused of where I am going to go on college. He asked me what course, and I said accountancy. And I asked him if accountancy is really for me, and he answered without hesitations but with a smile, “Yes.” I couldn’t help but to feel happy. It feels great to know that what you want is the one for you. And he asked me if I have a boyfriend, and I answered that I don’t. I confessed my secret (well), and what he said is.. “Eto lang sasabihin ko sayo, yung mapapangasawa mo, kilala mo na eh.” He said that, again, with a smile. Until now, it bothers me.

Over-all the recollection was the greatest day I had in my life!! Seriously, until today, I keep on recalling everything that happened. I like it. I want another one. MaSci, you should have given us a retreat instead. But I’m still thankful for such experience. At least, before I stepped out of my high school life, I got to be this close to God. Thank you, MaSci. Thank you, Bro. Ruel and Bro. Rolan. Thank you, Lord.

“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

1 John 4:8

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